Working Parts of the Will

My friend, an amateur car enthusiast who loves new Hondas, recently told me about the time he had to replace his car engine. Though I knew he was handy with minor repairs, the fact he would dare to tackle the heart transplant of the automotive world was a shock. He said it wasn’t as hard as one might think. He also told me it was a point of pride for him. Pulling off an engine transplant is the stuff of amateur car enthusiast legend.

The automotive love of his life, his ’90 Accord, was in the shop and he had no recourse but to try and get his junked out ’88 Civic in driving shape. The only problem, of course, was the fact that the Civic had no engine. A few well-placed Craig’s List ads later and he had a lead on a new engine. Calling in a few favors, he had the engine transported to his make-shift garage in the wee morning hours.

Imagine Toshiro Mifune, circa 1953, and you’ll have a good idea of my friend’s perennial swagger. He detailed how he used a jerrybuilt engine hoist to swing the engine into place, all the while terrified the chains were going to snap. With the harmonic damper in place, the crankshaft ratcheted together, and the rod bearings holding firm, he managed to get the engine into place. Sure, it’s no small feat to hoist in and connect engine — but this didn’t guarantee the engine would actually turn over.

His perfectly coiffed hair slicked with engine oil, he shifted the transmission into neutral and cranked the ignition. He swore the engine turned over on the first turn. Impossible, I know, but if he insists, there is little I can do but believe him. The engine turned and he was in business. From a cobweb-encrusted heap, the old ’88 was now road-ready.

Was I jealous? Oh, yeah. Any man who can replace a car engine enters a new league of manhood — something between a superhero and a movie star. If his square jaw and bonhomie demeanor weren’t enough of a boon, his new-found skill sealed his Manly Man status. The moral of the story, that where there is a will, there is a way, was not lost on me. But that was beside the point. Needless to say, I haven’t found the time to swing by a see his ’88.

If you’re looking for sleek, new Honda cars, you’d be better off finding one online. Save yourself a dip into the manly world of manly things and get a new Honda car quote in seconds without the testosterone.

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One Response to “Working Parts of the Will”

  1. so we pull into Burger King, saw two news trucks and a bunch of police cars.. we asked what hpnd &dude said "just another shooting" -_-

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